Blind Evidence: a short story by GF Willmetts.
‘Will the guilty party please stand.’
The defence barrister stood up first. ‘My client hasn’t been convicted yet, sir.’
The judge flicked his hand. ‘A minor detail at this time. He’s in the dock, so he’s been charged. I just have to confirm the verdict. You there, stand up.’
The defendant in the dock obediently stood up.
‘What’s the crime?’
The prosecutor stood up. ‘He said a forbidden word five years ago. It was recorded on a podcast at that time.’
The defence barrister hadn’t sat down. ‘I should point out that at the time my client’s choice of word was not forbidden. Therefore, this is not an actual crime, and the word police over-reacted. Had he owned a fortune-teller’s ball, my client would have realised he could not use that specific word and would have found a different choice word instead and hoped it would not be later forbidden.’
The judge paused. ‘Gobbledygook. Are you seeking a shorter sentence for a lesser word?’
‘No, sir. It was not an offensive word at the time. This is a miscarriage of justice. How could he have known it would become such a word?’
‘How many people saw him say this word?’
‘The counter said fifteen at the time. Hardly enough to corrupt anyone today. The podcast has been inactive for the past three years. One of the fifteen must have recorded it and might have passed it on. My client could not have predicted that happening or by who. The word became offensive two year ago. This case should not be in court, or you’ll be having everyone with any word deemed offensive in court.’
‘Remind me what the word is again…’
Both the defence barrister and prosecutor began to open their mouths.
‘Don’t say it, or you’ll be in the dock as well. Write it down. Both of you. Just making sure you both are on the same songsheet. I had a case last week where they had different words. Fortunately, both were offensive, so it’s the same offence. I like to keep these cases simple. Avoids appeals. They wouldn’t work anyway.’
‘Here’s to simpler language, sir.’ The prosecutor brown-nosed but wasn’t writing.
‘Don’t be facetious. I enforce the laws, not choose the words that are forbidden for whatever reason.’
Neither was the defence barrister. To do so could also become an offence, and the judge was obviously seeing if they understood the law.
All three men paused. Nothing was being done. The man in the dock remained silent. Before coming to court, his barrister had warned him talking could incriminate him even further, so not to be stupid.
‘You there,’ finally, the judge pointed at the dock, ‘you write the offensive word down. You’ve already used it, so your crime can hardly get worse.’
The defence barrister immediately put up his hand to the defendant. ‘If my client does that, he will automatically be committing a felony under current law, as the last time he wrote it, the word was not forbidden. To do so now would incriminate him under the current forbidden word act.’
‘That wouldn’t make any difference because he’s already been found guilty.’
‘Under the jurisdiction of the law, he hasn’t had his court case completed yet, let alone been sentenced yet…sir.’
The judge looked at his fingers and twiddled his thumbs before looking up. ‘I can just rely on the word police’s affidavit. Me hearing or seeing the word is just a formality, and even a judge could be prosecuted for saying or reading the word. I was just making the point. These are sensitive times, gentlemen.’
There was a pause as they looked at each other. An impasse. Even the judge wasn’t prepared to go down that road.
‘Surely, as my client hasn’t used this word in the past three years, he can have a lesser sentence. It isn’t as though it wasn’t used in context.’
‘Are you saying he has used it since?’
‘Not that he’s aware of, sir.’
‘That also implies you have seen this forbidden word.’
‘To present my client’s defence, but I saw it in a locked room and did not say it aloud, but it was as an anagram, and I had to work out for myself what it was. I’m glad I studied crosswords.’
‘You were lucky you didn’t see one letter at a time,’ the judge added.
‘Does that happen?’
The judge turned to the prosecutor. ‘You didn’t do this?’
‘I’m prosecuting the crime. I didn’t need to see the word itself to know a crime had been committed.’
‘Blind justice then.’
The judge didn’t reply. ‘Your client is sentenced to two months imprisonment and parole for two years after without using any forbidden words.’
‘That is an honest verdict, sir,’ said the prosecutor, continuing his brown-nose grovelling.
One of the word police whispered in the judge’s ear, who looked up with surprise.
‘And you, sir, have just used the forbidden word used by the accused five years ago and will now stand in that dock when he has been taken down. Take the prosecutor to the cells.’
‘But I didn’t know that was the forbidden word.’
‘That is no excuse in court. You had the same opportunity as the defence barrister to see which forbidden word it was. Your failure to do so rests with you and is an additional offence, so it cannot be tried under the same rules as the current defendant…convicted felon.’
end of free speech?
© GF Willmetts 2025
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