Dr Who and the Daleks (1965): How Not to Conquer a Planet (classic film retrospective).

Larks, Dr Who and the Daleks (1965), the cinematic adventure that boldly took the hit BBC TV series and splashed it onto the big screen in glorious Technicolor, just as the Daleks were perfecting their strategy of moving ever so slightly across shiny studio floors. Because what screams “big budget sci-fi epic” quite like a group of dustbin-shaped robots who can’t climb stairs?

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of this “masterpiece,” let’s allow Stam Fine to start with the basics in his damn fine video. This was the very first time Dr Who (yes, Dr Who—he doesn’t even get the respect of a full “Doctor” here) graced cinemas, and instead of the beloved, mysterious Time Lord from the TV series, we’re treated to Peter Cushing as a kindly old man named “Dr. Who,” who somehow invented a time machine in his back garden shed. Because why not? If you’ve got a spare weekend and a few extra garden tools, time travel is just a DIY project away, right?

The Plot (or, “Are We There Yet?”)

So, the film kicks off with Dr Who and his curious band of companions—his two granddaughters (because apparently one wasn’t enough) and an unlucky friend—accidentally travelling to the planet Skaro. It’s your classic holiday gone wrong. They meant to head to Brighton, but oops, they end up in an apocalyptic wasteland inhabited by two species: the Daleks (robotic salt shakers with anger issues) and the Thals, who are basically runway models cosplaying as ancient Greeks.

The Daleks, naturally, are the main villains of the piece, with their usual modus operandi: yelling “Exterminate!” at everyone and hoping someone will eventually take them seriously. Their grand plan? Nuclear war, of course, because nothing says “universal dominance” quite like the destruction of your own planet. Classic Daleks—great at shouting, terrible at forward planning.

Dr Who (the man, not the show) and his companions, like any good tourists, spend the movie trying to escape the Daleks, help the Thals (who are so pacifist that they’ll probably write you a strongly worded letter before actually fighting), and basically running around in circles until someone eventually saves the day. The real mystery isn’t how they defeat the Daleks, but why the Daleks don’t just roll off-screen in frustration halfway through.

The Daleks: Villains or IKEA Lamps?

Ah, the Daleks. Truly, no film baddie has ever inspired such a mix of terror and mild confusion. You see, the Daleks in Dr Who and the Daleks are like their TV counterparts… only slower. And louder. And somehow even more impractical. If you ever wondered what would happen if you gave a metal bin feelings, then you’re in luck. They look like they could be defeated by a steep incline or a small flight of stairs, yet somehow they’re menacing enough to make an entire species (the Thals) live in fear.

Let’s be real: the Daleks are basically IKEA furniture with a grudge. They roll around on wheels, shout at everyone, and seem like they’re one bad turn away from falling apart. And yet, they somehow manage to convince everyone that they’re a genuine threat. It’s a bit like being chased by an angry Roomba. Sure, it’s scary for a second, but then you remember that you can just step out of its path and watch as it bumps harmlessly into a wall.

Peter Cushing as “Dr Who”: The Grandfather We All Want

Then there’s Peter Cushing as Dr Who. Forget all the mysterious, alien vibes from the TV show. This Doctor is a delightful old granddad who probably offers you a Werther’s Original before taking you on a journey through time and space. Cushing’s Dr Who is so gentle and kind that it’s hard to believe he’s capable of battling anything more threatening than a crossword puzzle.

And don’t get me started on his fashion sense. He sports a suit that screams “I’ll be home by six for tea,” rather than “I’m about to face an army of genocidal pepper pots.” But there’s something endearing about his portrayal—like if your local librarian decided to save the universe on weekends.

The Verdict: A Timeless Classic?

Let’s be honest. Dr Who and the Daleks isn’t exactly 2001: A Space Odyssey. The sets wobble, the acting is charmingly over-the-top, and the plot is basically an extended chase sequence involving actors desperately trying to keep a straight face while being menaced by Daleks who look like they’ve just been wheeled out of a scrap metal yard.

And yet… there’s something strangely lovable about it. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, or maybe it’s the joy of watching a sci-fi film where the stakes are high, but the budget clearly isn’t. It’s campy, colourful, and absurdly fun in the way only 1960s sci-fi can be. Plus, where else are you going to see Daleks plotting world domination at the speed of a mobility scooter?

In short, Dr Who and the Daleks is a reminder that sometimes, you don’t need big special effects or deep philosophical themes to make a movie memorable. All you need is a charmingly bewildered Doctor, some men in fancy robes, and a bunch of rolling trash cans shouting about extermination. What could be more classic than that?